


i am yours and you are mine

by parksquared



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 2nd person narration woohoo, EVERYONE IS WHIPPED, M/M, fudged timelines im sorry, how great is it that nobody needs to check underage for archive warnings, jihoon is also Whipped, lapslock because i typed this on my phone, mature rating for that 3 lines of smut, sorry for the terrible title and summary, woojin is Whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 12:19:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13570464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parksquared/pseuds/parksquared
Summary: jihoon did not expect that joining produce 101 would lead to this





	i am yours and you are mine

**Author's Note:**

> self edited, sorry in advance for the questionable use of punctuation and tenses. my teachers tried very hard but failed to get me to stop writing run on sentences.

you meet him on a harsh, winter morning, eyes flitting, nerves shaking, as you step into the building where you’d spend three months of your life vying for korea’s fleeting affections. you notice his quiet demeanour, his distracted smile, as his label mates engage him in conversation and you take comfort in how you’re not the only one whose nervousness is obvious. your eyes meet and you wouldn’t realise it then but you had just met your soulmate. 

later, you’d feel kind of silly when he performs — when the beat drops and he smirks out welcome to my hollywood — that you had thought you were kindred spirits. but that will not stop you from reaching out when the producers call for a break. why not, we’re both the same age. better a new ally than none. 

i’m alright, i’m alright, i will be alright, you repeat to yourself after you’re done and your mic pack drops and you get sorted into C class. it would turn out that you’d have nothing to worry about when your wink goes viral but he doesn’t get much attention. and a part of you wonders why that bothers you. 

the late nights get to you. the insecurity and anxiety about the lack of screen time also get to you. your face bloats, un-bloats, repeat ad nauseam. netizens call you chubby, call you the wink boy as if that’s all you will be. they complain that you are too short as if that is something within your control. but that’s fine. you take it all in stride because woojin is there. his laughter, his warm hand, his low voice, a constant companion helping you through the long days. you are glad you reached out that first day.

you don’t realise that he’s special to you until the final episode, when it hits you that the end is nigh and the last three months spent in that vacuum will give rise to a new idol group. the thought that you may be separated from woojin makes you panic. you barely hold it in until break time. you listen out for his name, every time they announce the trainees who are at the cut line. a thought comes to mind, i don’t want to do this without him. 

when boa _daepo-nim_ calls his name, brand new music park woojin, you clap like you’ve never clapped before. the relief you feel is palpable. only then does anxiety for yourself give, what if i don’t make it, this is mnet after all. but you make it too and you hug him a tad too long on stage. you’re thankful the camera does not capture it when you watch the episode. mnet is consistent till the end.

you realise you’re in love. it consumes you. it makes you inexplicably happy. it also annoys you. you just started your career as an idol. you’re not strong enough to survive a dating scandal. hell, nobody is strong enough to survive a _gay_ dating scandal. not now. 

you pull away. you step up your fan service with jinyoung. you ignore the wounded look in woojin’s eyes when you insist on being paired with jinyoung for the innisfree virtual reality video. jinyoung looks at you funny, knowing eyes conveying that you’re being uncharacteristically clingy, that this is out of the ordinary. but jinyoung goes along with it anyway. he trusts you’ll tell him when you’re ready. 

and you do. to your surprise, jinyoung does not look surprised. he calls you hyung affectionately and tells you you’re being silly, that you’re hurting woojin too, that daehwi said that woojin’s wondering if he had done something wrong and that daehwi is this close to confronting you on woojin's behalf. jinyoung warns that avoiding woojin any further may break the bond you have. 

that frightens you, and so you talk to woojin. but you also make up your mind to never let your feelings come to light. you were a child actor, you can do it and so you do and things go back to normal, as normally as it can, with the emotions rioting in your heart.

bunssodan becomes a thing. you laugh and then you cry a little. bunssodan, bunssodan, bunssodan — an unofficial sub-unit! what terrible luck. woojin’s excited. you are too. but you grow more fearful of the spotlight, a little more confused with every interaction. 

you notice the small smiles, the touches at the small of your back, your arms, your waist, the almost kisses and the aborted back hugs. you read on twitter that woojin thinks bunssodan comprises woojin and jihoon alone. you want to chalk it up to woojin playing a role, to promote bunssodan perhaps so that he gets more gigs, but you know woojin. scheming is what you do; not woojin, the boy who is innocent to a fault, who believes hard work shows and will pay off and did pay off. hope spreads like a wildfire in you. frustration too. 

it comes to an end in taiwan. woojin holds your hand during always. he holds it firmly yet gently, giving you space to let go. you don’t. you can’t imagine a time when you’d want to. 

that night, kuanlin goes home and woojin comes over. you talk until your voice is hoarse, your throat is sore. you tell him that you are afraid of the future, that they will be found out and that the repercussions will be too great to bear. he tells you that he’s afraid too but he believes what you have is something special and that he'd regret it if he does not pursue this. he tells you that he knows you feel the same way, that when he's looking at you, you are also looking back at him. the next day, you find out that woojin had given everyone instructions not to disturb you. you think perhaps you had underestimated him. 

the first time he presses into you, your brain stutters and for that split second, your body shuts down. his fingers had not prepared you for the fullness you’d feel and when he starts moving, you forget about the burn, the stretch and all you can think of is i love you, i love you, i love you. you wonder if he can hear you with how loudly it’s resounding in your head. it surprises you how quietly he comes. 

after, he’d smile at you nervously. you almost say i love you but you don’t. you are not that cliched. you don't say anything at all, but press your face to his chest and fall asleep to the rhythm of his breathing. 

bunssodan is still a thing. it is yours and you love it and am thankful for it. you come to realise that it is the perfect cover for your relationship with woojin. it gives you and woojin the front cover of 1st look. the photographer catches onto your aura and energy when you're together and you blush when the pictures are published. you feel exposed but woojin presses his lips to the corner of your mouth and you relax. you tell him you love him and he says he knows. he won't say it back until much later, but he shows it daily. 

the days are long but the years are short. you feel this in your bones as you journey as part of wanna one. you are still afraid of the future but woojin is there with you, just as he was there with you from day one, just as he will be even after wanna one comes to an end. 

he is yours, just as you are his.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaa if you're reading this, thanks for making it to the end of this incredibly self-indulgent fic! i've not written in a crazy long time so hopefully this wasn't all that terrible.
> 
> i am @05294DJ1 on twitter


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